It Slices! It Dices!

"We require what it is you have."
"Is that a threat?"
"We like to think of it as a polite request, however, our patience seems to be wearing thin."
"Is that a... knife?"
"We prefer to consider it a negotiating technique."
"What is it that you think I have?"
"From observation, thirty pieces of silver. However, I must admit that I have a fondness for the metaphorical."
"What is it you want? Money? You can have everything. Here."
"No, we are connoisseurs of a more devalued currency, mavens of lost virtues perhaps. We need your soul."
"I...I can't just hand that over. Are you going to kill me?"
"I lament that the body is such a inefficient conduit for the transmission of spiritual energy, however, the answer should not surprise you."
[thump]
"Why thank you, sir. You are a gentleman of unsurpassed skill in these matters. Perhaps we should be leaving?"
[trill]
"Wait!"
[a new voice]
"I beg your pardon. How might we be of service?"
"That belongs to me!"
"This? I must politely disagree. Its last owner can be found slumping against the stone. Previous to that, it belonged to a young woman of the Far East. Before that, it resided in a small shrine near the Atlantic. My partner and I have taken proper possession of it and are now temporary custodians."
"I have a contract."
"Sir, if you would? Ah, thank you. Interesting. It seems to be quite in order. My compliments on your wording. Alas, I cannot surrender my bounty. There is a...higher power, if you must, at work. Sir?"
[thump]
"Demons. They never expect it. Thank you. Now, where were we? Ah yes, departing the mortal realm. Have you your halo? Good."