"You want ointment that defies glamour? Available in the supermarket," he danced a little step towards the counter.
I looked up at the display. "You've got to be kidding me."
He shook his head, revealing the slightly pointed ears beneath his curls. "Dead serious." He tilted his head and smiled. "Read the ingredients list." He took the small can off the shelf and handed it to me.
I nodded slowly.
You have to admire a site that can casually list "screw lubricant," right over "leather and tack dressing," and have it be considered completely tame.